Talking to your partner

Conversation prep for the version of you that gets defensive

What this is

A worksheet to prepare for one conversation. It is not couples therapy and not a substitute for it. If things are consistently painful, a licensed couples therapist is worth it.

Before you talk: fill this in

The one thing I most want them to understand:

What I'm asking for (be specific, not "be more supportive"):

What I'm willing to own:

Openers that lower the temperature

"I want to talk about something, and I want to get it right. Can we find a calm time, not right now if now's bad?"

"Here's what's going on with me. Here's what I'm working on. Here's where I could use you."

When you feel the defensiveness rising

Name it: "I notice I'm getting defensive. Give me a second."

Slow down. One breath before responding.

Ask instead of assume: "What did you mean by that?"

The "what I need / what I'll own" frame

What I need from you	What I'll own myself

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Going in with this filled out turns a vague, charged conversation into a concrete one. Specifics are easier to hear than "you never help."

Haze to Health is not a medical or mental-health provider. We do not diagnose, treat, or prescribe. This is educational and organizational information only, not medical, legal, or psychological advice. Only a licensed professional can evaluate or diagnose ADHD or any other condition.

If you are in crisis or thinking about harming yourself, call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline), any time, free and confidential.